No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
