Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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