i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
