...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
