you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Too much gin, very little bucket
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
