He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize