I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
