You work out of a Hotel?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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