She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize