You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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