oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize