i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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