i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
