just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
