I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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