is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
