Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
