hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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