just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
A+ Viking dick
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
