dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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