God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize