You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
