You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
