I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
