She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
