toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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