we have pet lesbian snakes
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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