and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
