Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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