He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize