i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
