New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
