covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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