What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
