someone get that fucking seahorse.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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