i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
