when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
