no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
