When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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