He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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