shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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