so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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