the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
