Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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