Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
