her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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