you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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