Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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