I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I could fuck to npr.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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