We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize