im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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