so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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