Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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