p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
