so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
