Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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