I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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