they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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