yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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