: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
