no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
