I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
