I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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