She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
